John 12:27-28  27 “Now my soul is troubled. And what should I say—‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it is for this reason that I have come to this hour. 28 Father, glorify your name.” Then a voice came from heaven, “I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.”

As we step closer and closer to the cross my heart becomes heavier and heavier.  My heart cannot fathom the troubled feelings Jesus held in his.

I was with my kids yesterday at a church gathering and we were singing songs with a video.  I couldn't bring myself to join the bouncy joyful song with words about Jesus dying for our sins.  I do not find joy in that at all.

I lament over the fact that Jesus had to die.  I cry that our souls are so bent toward sin that Jesus chose to sacrifice his life for yours and for mine.  He chose to die and overcome death so we might live.  I do not rejoice. I am humbled and thankful; not joyful.

It is only a few days before we remember his death.  As I walk this slow and painful path to the cross, I keep the hope of Easter in my heart.  I will mourn his sacrificial death but I will rejoice in his resurrection as well.

Even though I am distressed by his sacrifice, I am thankful and grateful for his willingness to give everything for me.  I am able to rejoice in the midst of sorrow because I know he overcame death and that the life he offered did not end on the cross.  In this I am able to shout Hallelujah!

Lord,

As we remember the journey to the cross this week, let us also remember the gift you offer to us through your sacrifice.  Open our hearts to receive your grace and mercy in ways and a depth we have never received before.  Help us share the story of your love so all may come to believe.  Amen.John 12:27-28